Saturday, April 14, 2012

Faith #1

The first principle of the gospel is Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. The first value for Young Womens is faith. The first experience for the faith value is reading scriptures and conference talks on faith, and setting a habit for daily morning and evening prayer. I just finished this value today. I love reading about faith. I always feel a strong spirit around me as I read about this topic. Getting into a habit of daily prayer has been a blessing. For some reason, I had a hard time praying after my mom died. Not that I was angry, because I wasn't. It was just so painful. For years my prayers consisted of, "Please don't take Mike. Please don't take Maysen." I would constantly say little prayers as I was doing things, but the kneeling down prayers I just couldn't do. Logically I knew that if I did pray, I would be able to stop the hurting. Still I couldn't do it for a long, long time. I wish I could have a chance to talk to my past self and convince her to go through the pain, that that would be the only way to get past it. Now, years later, it is easier to pray. The pain isn't overwhelming like it use to be. I am able to enjoy the sweetness of Heavenly Fathers spirit. I am grateful that it is now and not then. I guess that is what life is all about. Learning how to handle the pain. It's probably like snowflakes, everyone has different pain and everyone handles their own pain in their own way. I am grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who is so patient with me.

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