Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Fingerprints

Jorja is in the bumblebee class for the first grade garden. The other classes are frogs, caterpillars, butterflies, etc. Jorja drew this bumblebee herself . . . found the foam herself . . . she is just so, so cute! And sweet!
Jorja

Today I went and got my fingerprints (finally) taken so I could substitute teach. I had been waiting forever. I have had everything turned in for over three weeks, but the district had to schedule the fingerprint appointment. Very frustrating.

Anyway, I was suppose to bring my drivers licence, SS card and a $40 cashiers check. I got the check yesterday and about an hour before I needed to leave I got the lockbox down so I could get out my SS card. It wasn't there! Mine was the only card missing! I went through the box again and it still wasn't there. I ran downstairs and got Mike to help me. We tore apart the house looking for the card. We looked through all my drawers, the filing cabinet, my purse, my necklace purse . . . it was nowhere to be found. I said several prayers as I was frantically searching for my card. Each time I felt peaceful and calm, but I still didn't have any idea where my card was. I was about to give up and go without it when I remembered Mike reorganized the kitchen while I was at John's wedding. I asked if he remembered where he put the contents of the drawer by the fridge. He pointed to a box in the office that I was suppose to go through. We dove into the box, and low and behold, it was there! I did a little dance and flew out the door! (After saying a very heartfelt prayer of gratitude!)

Prayer is an interesting thing. It is something that is really hard for me. I always have a prayer in my heart, as I say many, many little prayers a day. But the long, deep personal prayers are a real struggle. My problems with prayer begin right after my mom died. The day she died. I didn't say a prayer for 10 years. A real prayer I mean. I would say prayers over food and with our family, but my nightly personal prayers were just, "Please don't take Mike" then soon after they evolved to "Please don't take Mike or Maysen. Please be patient with me." I don't know why this was so hard for me. Maybe because I prayed so hard for my mom to live, and then it hurt when I started praying for her to go. I know I could feel a wall around me that I was terrified to bring down. Now more then 13 years have gone by, and I am getting better. That sounds pathetic, doesn't it? But praying isn't as hard for me as it once was, now my problem is getting back into the habit of consistent personal prayer.

Okay, that was a tangent I didn't mean to go on . . . but, I was thinking . . . prayer is interesting. Recently I have felt Heavenly Father's spirit quite often during prayers. About a month ago, Maysen prayed that Mike would be able to "figure out how to do Tec Lab because it sounds really fun". When she said that, the spirit was so strong. I was pondering on what that meant. Did that mean that Mike's idea for Tec Lab would really work? Or did it just mean that my child is so cute and adorable? Was Heavenly Father letting me know that this is what Mike should be putting his efforts towards? Or was it His way of letting me know that I am loved and valued?

Wow. That was a long post. If you managed to get to the end, I congratulate you.

1 comment:

rachel said...

I hope you read this late comment, but we really appreciate this post. It really made Brett and talk about prayer for a while. We hope Tech Lab works out too, and we are excited to hear more about it.